i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
