i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You smell like stripper and shame
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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