Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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