I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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