My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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