We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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