I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
