The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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