trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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