Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize