I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Life is so much better after having sex.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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