all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
