He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
were you high?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.