one word: firstdatebathroomanal
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.