Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
