His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize