their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
