I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize