So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
