that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just gift wrapped bread.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
