remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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