I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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