I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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