weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
