I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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