Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I think my vagina is haunted
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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