i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize