i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
