I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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