The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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