Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
