:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
