i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
