I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
