Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
