i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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