he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
