and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
