That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
