$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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