Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
