I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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