nut hugger
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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