but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
