Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
