She's JV to your varsity
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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