Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
