I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize