i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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