Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
