i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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