roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
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the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
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She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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