oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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