Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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