I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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