I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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