You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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