happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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