Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
