I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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